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Can sexual abuse cause depression?

Sexual abuse is a widespread problem in societies across the world. In Canada, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 11 men will be sexually abused at some point over their lifetime. We’ve talked about many of the common reactions to sexual assaults, but these don’t cover all possible reactions. Moreover, people’s responses to a traumatic event might change over time. So, when it comes to more longstanding challenges, one question remains. Can sexual abuse cause depression?

Some definitions

In the past, we have talked about the different kinds of sexual abuse that can happen to someone. But, here we can work with a broad definition of sexual abuse. According to the American Psychological Association, this encompasses any undesired sexual activity where the perpetrator uses force, threats, or takes advantage of victims unable to give consent. This framework is helpful, but it is important to recognize that there are many ways this can manifest. This includes indecent exposure, unwanted touching, and forced sexual intercourse. Some people may even experience sexual abuse without knowing that it happened.

Depression, on the other hand, is a medical diagnosis. It is more than just feeling sad. In fact, there is a list of symptoms required to meet the criteria for a depressive episode or for a depressive disorder. These mainly come from a book called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM). On top of a depressed mood, this includes things like:

Not all of these have to be met for someone to be clinically depressed. However, the more that are present, the more severe the depression is. Someone may just have one episode of depression through their whole life, or it may be something that comes back from time to time. Either way, there are ways to cope with depression, including using medications and psychotherapies. There are also ways to help other people who are living with depression.  

So, can sexual abuse cause depression?

The short answer is probably yes. The longer answer is that there is a correlation, but to know whether it is a direct causation is hard because not everyone who gets sexually abused becomes depressed. In mental health, there often is a combination of factors that come together to make someone vulnerable to becoming unwell. This is known as the stress-vulnerability model. Essentially, every person has a mixture of genetic vulnerabilities or strengths that interact with risk or protective factors in their environment. So, the end result is different for each person because of their unique position in life.

It is clear that there is a link between childhood sexual abuse and depression. For adult survivors, the question can sexual assault cause depression is less clearcut. The prevalence rate for depression among adult survivors of sexual abuse is between 13-51%. This varies when looking at specific populations. One meta-analysis (when a bunch a scientific studies are examined together) found that, for an experience of sexual abuse at any point during someone’s lifetime, the prevalence of depression is around 39%.

What are the odds?

One way of measuring the likelihood that something occurs for a reason other than chance is by looking at odds ratios. These are the proportions of people in one group who experience something when compared to another group. An odds ratio of 1.0 is an equal occurrence among the 2 groups. However, odds ratios of 0.5 or 2.0 mean that something was twice as likely to happen in one of the groups than the other.

The same meta-analysis from above looked at lifetime sexual abuse and adolescent/adult sexual abuse compared with populations who hadn’t been sexually abused. The odds ratios for these 2 groups were 3.87 and 3.25 respectively. While they are similar, they show a slightly less likelihood of developing depression among people who aren’t sexually abused as children. Keep in mind that the lifetime group includes sexual abuse from any point in someone’s life, so the odds ratio for childhood sexual abuse is probably even higher. With that said, the connection between sexual assault and depression is considerable regardless of the age the abuse happens.

Conclusion

When we ask “can sexual abuse cause depression,” it raises a complex issue. Many people who experience sexual abuse do also experience depression. Especially in the time right afterwards. But does this mean that they are stuck with these emotions forever? Not necessarily. Post traumatic growth after sexual abuse provides a hopeful outlook for someone who is in the depths of their emotions.

While depression is a completely understandable and normal reaction to being sexually assaulted, asking can sexual assault cause depression misses a big piece of nuance with the topic. Yes, sexual violence is a risk factor in the stress-vulnerability model, but being aware of the protective factors (or buffers) against depression are important parts of healing.

Maintaining hope that help is out there can make a big difference in someone’s healing journey. To use the academic language of the meta-analysis looking at sexual abuse and depression: “trauma help-seeking samples had significantly smaller [odds ratios for depression] than community samples”. This means that, compared to the general population, those who look for support after sexual abuse are much less likely to suffer from depression afterwards. So, if you or someone you know has been sexually abused, please reach out for help. We wrote a whole handbook about your rights after being sexually abused. Additionally, Canada’s Victim’s Services Directory can help find a resource near you.

Redefining Masculinity

Men come in various shapes and forms. One man may look, act, and feel very differently than any other man. However, when it comes to the expectations that are put on men, especially in the West, there are some similarities. Today’s article explores how traditional versions of masculinity, based in power over others, cause problems for everyone involved. This type of manhood is also called “hegemonic masculinity”. Its unhelpful standards of being a man don’t serve anyone well. Whether it is because a man believes he has to “dominate” women, or feels stressed because he doesn’t. So, redefining masculinity may be in order.

When “being a man” isn’t good for you

There is a saying that is so prevalent in society that it has become almost a bad meme. Telling someone to “be a man” comes with so much baggage that it can be difficult to unpack it all. But, since this usually refers to the characteristics of a power-based masculinity, we can make some assumptions. Firstly, when someone says this, they might be referring to being more assertive or confident. They could also be saying that the man in question has to hide his emotions or “be fearless” in the face of danger. Maybe it is more openly toxic and refers to turning people into sexual objects to be ‘won’, or into threats to be beaten down.

The second assumption that we can make is that the man who lives up to these expectations of manhood is going to hurt himself, and possibly others. Men who believe in this type of traditional masculinity are more likely to experience poor health outcomes than women or nonconforming men. This can include alcohol abuse, avoiding mental health treatment, or not getting preventative healthcare. They are also more likely to harm others. This can include through bullying, physical violence or sexual violence.

This isn’t exactly new information. We have talked in the past about how toxic masculinity, rape culture, and rape myths have harmful effects. But, what happens when a man feels pressured to conform to these power based versions of manhood but doesn’t feel like he does?

Redefining Masculinity

The stress of being manly

When a man feels stressed about the expectations put on him to be ‘manly’ in the traditional sense, it can be harmful as well. Academics have studied this through the lens of “gender role strain/stress theory”. Essentially, what they look for are the different ways that men feel expectations to act a certain way but don’t feel they live up to it. There are 3 main terms to keep in mind with this topic: discrepancy, dysfunction, and trauma.

Gender role discrepancy is the actual difference between a man’s perception of what is manly versus their own expression of manhood. In this case, a man might not feel man enough. This leads to problems ranging from ridicule and violence to depression and substance abuse. This is called gender role dysfunction. If this becomes too much, especially in fields like professional sports and the military, then it can lead to long lasting problems in the man himself. These are completely separate from the problems he might cause for other people. This is called trauma strain.

The idea in this theory is that the discrepancy is what causes the subsequent dysfunction and trauma. This can come from a man’s own internal feelings of not being enough or from other people enforcing traditional masculinity on him. While gender expectations are hard on everyone, some research has shown that men have worse behavioural and mental health outcomes from their gender role discrepancy than women. Men who believe they are different than what a man should be, and feel stressed out by that, may try to counteract that feeling by doing things they believe a ‘real’ man would do. This can include riskier sex (and the STIs that can come with that), physical assaults, and sexual violence.

Redefining masculinity

Men are necessary in life, beyond their biological contributions to it. And manhood doesn’t have to be bad.  Some aspects of traditional masculinity are required in some settings. This is much like how trauma can teach us lessons that only work within the setting of that trauma. For example, a soldier might need to be stoic in battle. But, it’s also important for him to show feelings once he’s safe at home.

Importantly, some men don’t face the same harmful effects by not conforming. These men are not stressed out about their nonconformity to traditional masculinity. So, in other words, the gender role dysfunction only comes if someone is worried about the initial discrepancy. And that is an incredibly hopeful point.

When talking to (other) men, being able to accept them for their own expression of manhood can be healing for everyone involved. Since men play such a big role in enforcing the roles of manliness onto other men, we have the ability to change what we enforce. A man being able to express his emotions can challenge the script of a man’s need for rigid emotional control. And men who are comfortable with other men doing the same create spaces for healthy masculinity.

A man going into social work or nursing can help to flip the script on what is expected of a man in society. A man in the military or professional sports who is a role model of healthy masculinity can help others become more comfortable doing redefining masculinity for themselves. Women and other allies have roles in reinforcing the value of these other types of masculinities as well. Just remember that a true man is whoever identifies themselves as such.

Redefining Masculinity

Why does Vesta care?

Our goal at Vesta is to eradicate rape culture. Since men are traditionally left out of interventions to prevent sexual violence, we think that they need to be integrated into the discussion. When a man reads a post like this, we hope that he takes his role to heart. Every action that he makes around his peers and all his internal thoughts about what makes a man can help prevent the type of masculinity discussed here that hurts men and women alike. It may feel like a drop in the ocean, but with enough drops we can drown out the myths and harmful expectations that lead to sexual assault. So, whether you are a man reading this or an ally, remember to do your part in the conversation redefining masculinity. Even if it is just one drop in the bucket.

Post traumatic growth after sexual assault

Normally, when people talk about trauma, it is framed through its negative impacts. This is especially true when the trauma comes from sexual assault, where Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is a very real concern for many people. However, a less talked about outcome of trauma is called post traumatic growth. So, how can someone experience post traumatic growth after sexual assault?

First, a definition. Post traumatic growth is the process of making positive changes after a traumatic event. This is usually done through someone’s engagement with a meaning making structure. Post traumatic growth is a tangible outcome, arising through a constantly changing process. Someone can be anywhere on a spectrum of growth after a traumatic event, meaning that there are different levels of improvements. There is no universally accepted definition of post traumatic growth. The general consensus is that it’s based on how well a survivor can cope after a trauma. This includes having a strong sense of self and others. Survivors often create meaning out of their traumas as well. Post traumatic growth is usually measured along 5 domains

  • relationships with others
  • new possibilities
  • personal strength
  • spiritual change
  • and appreciation for life.

In this article, we start by will exploring what trauma is. The, we will look at how it can be mediated by internal and external factors of resilience. Lastly, we examine the ways someone can experience post traumatic growth both generally and specific to sexual assault.

Trauma: What is it?

Trauma has taken on a colloquial life of its own. People talk about being traumatized about how bad a movie was or by how long a specific task took. Trauma in the context of someone’s mental health is very different. It is defined as something that happened or happens that affects someone’s long-term well-being and/or functioning. Defined more broadly, trauma is an event that overwhelms someone’s ability to cope with the event that happens. By every definition, sexual assault in any form can cause trauma to someone. However, different people have different responses to a traumatic event. Some people will rationalize it, like we have talked about before with unacknowledged sexual assaults. For others, traumatic events will cause sudden and long lasting changes in their behaviours. We have also talked more about commonly misunderstood reactions to sexual assault in another article.

Trauma isn’t an abnormal experience. Some sources say that the majority of men and women will experience some sort of trauma throughout their lives. Moreover, in Canada, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 11 men will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. However, rates of PTSD are much lower than that (approximately 8.6% for women and 4.1% for men). So, what causes some people to experience higher rates of debilitation from trauma? The short and simple answer is communities and individuals working together.

Trauma resistant communities

Many lists talking about resilience will focus on the individual’s sense of self. Do they attribute the negative event to something that they did or something impermanent that was out of their control? Are they critical of themselves or do they show themselves compassion? Do they get caught up in the whirlwind of emotions or can they ground themselves in the current moment? As a piece of education, the second part of all those questions are associated with individual resilience. However, people’s internal resilience and their experience of trauma vary. But, regardless of the person’s individual abilities, being negatively affected by trauma doesn’t mean that they have failed. On the contrary, it might mean the systems they are living in failed them.

Michael Ungar talks about the individual factors of resilience as well. These include things like persistence and adaptation. But one thing that he introduces into the equation is society’s role in creating resilience. A main tenet of his theory of resilience is that resilience only happens in the face of adversity, which makes sense on the face of things. Many parts of life require resilience in order to make it through them, even ones that are not traumatic.

However, Ungar also includes pieces in resilience that go beyond what is typically put on the individual. Things like someone’s relationships (familial, friendly, or otherwise) play a key role in resilience. So do things like social justice. This would mean that the person’s faith in the world around them, and its proven ability to protect them, plays a role in someone’s resilience. We can add this to something like access to basic resources, where it’s a lot harder to be ‘resilient’ when you’re lacking food, water, and/or shelter. Also, a sense of cohesion with your community plays a role in resilience too. This allows you to feel like you are part of something bigger than yourself. In other words, you have meaningful connections to the world around you. So, there is often more than meets the eye when it comes to being resilient.

Post traumatic growth

We’ve explored what trauma and resilience are. Now, the main question of our article comes into focus: how can someone experience post traumatic growth after sexual assault? To start, we will look at post traumatic growth in general. Then, we will go deeper specifically into post traumatic growth after sexual assault.

Post traumatic growth in general

There are many factors that go into post traumatic growth. Much like resilience, there are individual and group factors at play.

Post traumatic growth after sexual assault

Individual factors

For an individual, being able to manage the emotions that come up after a trauma is an important part of moving towards post traumatic growth. This process involves interrupting the cycle of automatic and usually negative thoughts that can come up after a trauma. This sort of thinking is usually called rumination. Controlling the rumination to make it a more constructive train of thought can be an important way of coping with the distress after a trauma.

Sometimes, a survivor of a trauma might have to change the way they see the world in order to accommodate the new life experience. This can be integrated into a new worldview that makes sense of the traumatic event. Ideally, the new narrative “recognizes the complexity of the world”. A key individual factor of post traumatic growth is examining one’s core beliefs. This can be distressing in the short term, and reinforces the need for positive coping. 

Social factors

The other side of the coin, so to speak, are the social factors that influence post traumatic growth. Writing, praying, and/or talking about the experience are important parts of this process. They can lead to the creation of positive social networks around the person who has experienced the trauma. Self disclosure can be influenced by the survivor’s connection to their culture in ways that affect their ability to develop post traumatic growth. This is similar to someone’s connection to their community discussed above under the social aspects of resilience.

One direct benefit of self disclosure is having social support and role models for change. These role models can be a huge source of wisdom and inspiration for survivors of trauma. This reinforces the value of talking with people who have gone through similar life experiences. Especially those who have experienced growth from their own trauma. More broadly, connecting to one’s culture or society at large can be a way to continue forming connections. This can help in creating a renewed sense of wisdom that can come along with post traumatic growth.

All in all, these new ideas form a worldview that is rich and complex. They recognize the survivor’s strengths and resources. Moreover, they also highlight the survivor’s possibilities for the future.

Post traumatic growth after sexual assault

Post traumatic growth after sexual assault is very similar to post traumatic growth in general, but with a few nuances. One thing to keep in mind is that post traumatic growth and PTSD are not mutually exclusive. This means someone can experience symptoms of PTSD and post traumatic growth concurrently. The hope for many in this situation is that they can recover from the acuity of the trauma and move further towards post traumatic growth. This can be done by using adequate professional, social, and intrapersonal supports,

Internal factors

For sexual assault survivors, one study found 2 strong internal predictors of post traumatic growth. These were a disruption of core beliefs and perceived control over recovery. A disrupted core belief is when someone questions their core assumptions about the world. These beliefs can be things like “I don’t deserve much attention or respect.” or “Nobody I desire would desire me if they really got to know me.” Perceived control over recovery focuses on someone’s belief that they have control over their own life after a sexual assault.

It may be helpful to show an example of this. One survivor noted that the experience “made me stronger in who I am because I knew it wasn’t my fault”. Notice that the survivor in this situation emphasizes the control over their recovery. They also don’t engage in self-blame for the sexual assault. Self-blame after sexual assault is something that can prevent post traumatic growth. It is important to note that sexual assault is never the survivor’s fault. Often it is rape myths and rape culture that contribute to a survivor’s self blame.

Interpersonal factors

The same study found two other interpersonal predictors of post traumatic growth after sexual assault. These are religious coping and positive social coping. They put into perspective the value of having a supportive community behind a survivor. Religious coping is often associated with a way of making meaning out of the world. The survivor could find solace with a group of people who share and model similar positive core belief structures. Additionally, positive social coping involves both problem-solving and emotional regulation activities. In line with both of these is the role of disclosing the trauma. Survivors are more likely to experience post traumatic growth if they accepted the assault after the fact. A piece of that process can be speaking about it with their community. A further step that many survivors take is to engage in activism or political action after their trauma.

These are some big picture things that can help with moving towards post traumatic growth. But, it is important to keep in mind some of the other aspects of resilience that were talked about before. There are differences between resilience and post traumatic growth. Resilience is usually a shorter-term solution and post traumatic growth is a longer-term change. However, things like a survivor’s access to basic needs and cohesion with their community are important to factor into their capacity to have post traumatic growth. Not having these won’t necessarily stop someone from growing after trauma. But social factors like poverty and the intersections of societal oppressions can make it harder for a survivor to be ‘resilient’. Which makes it harder to move towards post traumatic growth.

Post traumatic growth after sexual assault

Conclusion

Post traumatic growth is the experience of positive changes after a traumatic event. Survivors of sexual assault often will be traumatized by their experience. However, that trauma doesn’t mean that the person will be stuck forever. People can grow after trauma. Being able to connect to a survivor’s community while reframing their own internal ruminations are ways to help make this happen . And, through using the strategies for resilience from this article, the survivor in your life might see some hope at the end of their experience. 

The truth about unacknowledged sexual assault

Rape myths and rape culture can often lead to confusion. Survivors might not even know they were assaulted. This is because of messages from society or friends that counteract the realities of consent. Research has shown that up to 73% of college women who are survivors of rape don’t acknowledge the sexual assault. Moreover, half of the women from one study reported experiences in line with sexual assault but didn’t know they were assaulted. This is what is called unacknowledged sexual assault.

So what is unacknowledged sexual assault? Basically, it is when sexual activities meet the criteria for sexual assault but the survivor doesn’t consider it to be assault. Unacknowledged survivors in general may be more likely to call the assault “miscommunication” or “bad sex”.

We spoke recently about some commonly misunderstood reactions to sexual assault. That will tie into this article through responses like explanation or normalization. Now let’s explore some reasons why someone might not consider themselves to have been sexually assaulted. Even with evidence to the contrary.

Factors leading to an unacknowledged sexual assault

To start, if you haven’t read about the rape myths and rape culture linked above, please go through those as a precursor to the rest of this article. For those who are familiar with them, you may have an idea of why so many sexual assaults go unacknowledged. A major factor to sexual  assault being unacknowledged is when the survivor knows the perpetrator. This is especially true when the survivor has been in a romantic relationship with the perpetrator, and may have consented to sex in the past. Research shows that they might believe that, in those relationships, “sexual activity would be considered appropriate and expected”.

Survivors of unacknowledged sexual assault may also have a different idea of what a sexual assault is. These “scripts” that survivors face may be informed by rape myths and rape culture. For example another factor in unacknowledged sexual assault is if there isn’t physical violence during the assault. Another one is if the survivor doesn’t follow the rape myth of resisting the assault. We have written in the past about different reactions to trauma, including freezing, and how they don’t mean that an assault didn’t happen.

Unacknowledged survivors are more likely to be younger. They are less likely to know a friend who was sexually assaulted. And they are less likely to report receiving information from friends about sexual assault.

What are the effects of unacknowledged sexual assault?

Not acknowledging a sexual assault can be a way a survivor tries to protect themselves. It can lead to feeling less distressed about the event than someone who acknowledges the sexual assault. This might be the first part of a process where the survivor comes to terms with the assault before they are able to label it that way. Unfortunately, there is little evidence in this realm, but oftentimes labelling can be part of the recovery process. But, each survivor will experience their assault differently. And they will have different ways of coping with and/or labelling the experience.

unacknowledged sexual assault

There are a few things that we have good evidence for though. The first being that unacknowledged sexual assault is a risk factor for being victimized again. The survivor may have to go through the same experience with the same partner. Especially if the relationship is maintained and rape myths are not questioned. Also, unacknowledged assault survivors are less likely to reach out for support. This can include medical, mental health, or support services. This may come from fears of sharing the experience or even for blaming themselves for the assault. A study found that only 3% of people who acknowledged being a survivor of a sexual assault didn’t disclose this to anyone. On the other hand, over 1 out of 4 people who didn’t acknowledge an assault happening had never disclosed the incident.

What can be done about unacknowledged sexual assault?

Many of these experiences happen on a university campus. Moreover, one study found that 80.5% of college females didn’t acknowledge a sexual assault as such. Major risk factors are a belief in rape culture and rape myths, a lack of social conversations about sexual assault, and being young. So, campuses can play a major role by opening up these conversations with their students. Offices of the prevention of sexual violence are key players in this space, but everyone plays a role. If you haven’t spoken about sexual assault with the people in your life, read through one of our guides. You can also share this article with those close to you to open up a conversation.

How can Vesta help?

People normally think that there are safe and effective ways to report sexual assault online. However, VESTA stands alone as the first fully online third-party reporting tool for sexual assaults. The VESTA Reporting tools can help in a variety of settings. Campuses, workplaces, or community organizations can get support for those who have been assaulted. They can simply use our tool to document the incidence. They can also either share anonymous statistical data or file a full police report. VESTA can help survivors connect to resources in their community as well, so that nobody has to recover from sexual assault alone. Then, when our communities start to heal, we can move step by step towards eradicating rape culture from the world.

unacknowledged sexual assault

Examples of common reactions to sexual assault

After a sexual assault, there is a social script that dictates what many people think would be “normal” activity. There are usually some variations in this. It can include the survivor fighting back during the assault. It could also say the survivor should cut ties with the perpetrator immediately afterward if they know each other (which they usually do). Or that all survivors get examined at a hospital for their Sexual Assault Evidence Kit as soon as possible. There is also an expectation that all these steps are done logically. The survivor “must” also never doubt that the assault itself occurred. But these are not always examples of common reactions to sexual assault.

reactions to sexual assault

We will look deeper into how unrecognized sexual assaults can lead to cycles of abuse for vulnerable peoples in a later article. However, in today’s post, we will explore how rape myths and rape culture make valid responses by survivors seem unusual.

This article is adapted from the Women’s College Hospital’s online course. For more information, complete Understanding the Commonly Misunderstood Reactions to Sexual Assault.

Normalization

Normalization happens when a survivor tries to put the assault into the context of what is considered “normal” activities. This idea of “normal” is usually fueled by rape culture, which hides the fact that a sexual assault legitimately happened. This can be made worse when the survivor knows the perpetrator, which they do in the majority of cases. Some research says this is because people in intimate relationships believe sex is “expected“. Plus, social scripts usually tell us that sexual assaults are committed by strangers. So, when the perpetrator is known to the survivor, then it might not fit their idea of what a sexual assault “should” be.

Examples of common reactions to sexual assault: Normalization

Explanation

Explanation is when a survivor tries to rationalize what happened to them and explain away the assault. This can happen especially when there is an existing relationship between the survivor and the perpetrator. Explanations are usually fueled by rape myths and grounded in rape culture.

Examples of common reactions to sexual assault: Explanation

Minimization

When a survivor uses minimization, they usually refer to another situation that could have been worse. They recognize that they said no and that they didn’t consent, but think about how they might have “gotten off easy” compared to someone else.

Examples of common reactions to sexual assault: Minimization

Dramatization

When a survivor engages in dramatization, they will openly talk about the assault. This might lead others to feel like the assault didn’t affect them, but in reality it’s a part of processing the assault and healing from it. Dramatization could lead the survivor to think that those around them “must be sick of hearing about it”. This can cause feelings of shame. However, connecting with others and being open to talking with helpful people may allow a survivor to bring in the help they need to recover.

Examples of common reactions to sexual assault: Dramatization

Suppression

Suppression is the opposite of dramatization. When a survivor suppresses the assault, they try not to think about it. They may do everything they can to keep the memory of the assault out of their mind and disconnect from their supports who might know about the assault. Being able to know how to support and talk with someone who has gone through a sexual assault might be helpful in supporting the survivor in your life.

Examples of common reactions to sexual assault: Suppression

Dissociation/numbing

Dissociation is when a survivor becomes disconnected from their body. They may feel empty, numb, or nothing at all. We’ve described this before as being “a dream-like state”. During dissociation, your brain filters some experiences from consciousness to protect you. This can lead to memory loss, feelings of surreality or detachment.

Examples of common reactions to sexual assault: Dissociation/numbing

Changes in Sexual Activity

Survivors may have changes to their consensual sexual activities after a sexual assault. Some people may engage in more, riskier sex. Others may shut down and not be able to have consensual sex. The whole spectrum represents real, valid responses to sexual assault. Being able to recognize changes to someone’s experience might help them process what has happened.

Examples of common reactions to sexual assault: Changes in Sexual Activity

Supporting a survivor with these responses

Recognizing the symptoms of trauma and knowing more about reporting are key pieces to healing after a sexual assault. We’ve recently explored the difficulties a survivor may face in reporting a sexual assault, but there is hope. Traditionally, only approximately 5% of sexual assaults are reported to the police. But now, VESTA Anonymous Reporting and VESTA Online Reporting offer trauma-informed ways for survivors to report their experiences. Survivors can use the tools as a way to document their experience for their own benefit. They can choose to use it to report anonymized statistics to campus or relevant authorities. Or they can submit a full police report.

We hope that one day rape culture will be eradicated. And we are trying to play our role in making that happen. When survivors can be supported to access the resources they need to heal, the system will get more information on how to support them. Since no two survivors are the same, the more information the system has, the better it can support those who come forward. When everyone who is sexually assaulted feels they can come forward, our society can heal itself from the ills of sexual violence. Then, that will be the day where an equal society can emerge and rape culture can be left behind.

reactions to sexual assault

Men’s role in preventing sexual violence

The majority of sexual violence prevention programs are geared towards women. However, since men commit 92% of sexual assaults against women, men’s role in preventing sexual violence is substantial. This article will explore what it means to “be a man”, how those perceptions can alter someone’s chances of committing sexual violence, and some ways that we can minimize those risks.

What makes a man?

To be clear, I know there is no single type of man. Men are varied in their actions, beliefs, and perceptions about themselves and the world. So, you might ask how can we answer what it means to be a man if there is no one type of man? The answer to this is to talk about the perceptions of manhood, which, while not ubiquitous, have some similarities across the world.

James Bond seems like a good man to be a reference for manhood. He has existed in various incarnations for over 60 years. So, what do people, of any gender, think of him? Here are some common answers:

A lot of these are positive traits. Being confident can help to live a worthwhile life and advocate for yourself. Physical fitness can be an important part of someone’s physical and mental health. And being able to solve problems pretty obviously holds value in most areas where there are problems to be solved. On the other hand, some of those characteristics are more problematic.

Hegemonic Masculinity

Aggression, womanizing, and stoicism are characteristics of what academics call “hegemonic masculinity”. In essence, this is the type of masculinity that needs to hold power over others, especially women. And problematic behaviours in the military and in sports can show quite clearly how extremes of masculinity based in dominance over others can go wrong. That being said, a man can believe that James Bond acts like a stereotypical man, but he might not believe that those behaviours are okay. These people offer different versions of being a man, but can sometimes bear the cost of countering the traditional model.

Parents will show more positive behaviours to boys who do stereotypically (within the “hegemonic masculinity” sense) behaviours associated with being a man. Additionally, a boy’s peers and teachers are more likely to criticize boys who do more stereotypically “feminine” behaviours. This starts early in a boys life and doesn’t stop when they become a man. The power-based masculinity hurts men who don’t abide by it at disproportionate rates. Boys who are gay or bisexual have more than twice the risk of being threatened by a weapon during the previous 12 months than heterosexual boys. The risk is even higher for boys who are “not sure” about their sexuality.

A masculinity based on power over others has been described as “hard won and easily lost”, needing to be consistently proven to the man himself and the people around him. While there are many traits that can fall into the power-based model, one of the strongest influences is that it opposes anything stereotypically “feminine”.

How does all this affect sexual violence?

Many studies have linked power-based masculinities to committing sexual violence. Men who believe in having power over women are more likely to commit sexual violence. This isn’t a surprise. Especially because one of the questions used to measure this is: “When it comes to having sex: I never feel bad about my tactics”. This kind of manhood coincide with myths about sexual assault and rape culture values to create a dangerous situation. Especially for BIPOC women.

It is important to acknowledge that violence doesn’t have to be a part of masculinity. However, some of the most ‘manly’ institutions in our society (e.g., professional sports, the military) are also the most violent. Unfortunately, these places also attract men who rank high in traditional masculine gender roles. This creates a place where men who believe they have to prove themselves as men by having power over women are among other men who believe the same. And all their beliefs intensify each others’.

As a note, these social settings also tend to use more alcohol than average. Using alcohol responsibly doesn’t have to be problematic. The problems with sexual violence increase when alcohol is combined with beliefs where men need to drink a lot and then prove how “manly” they are.

How can men lower their risks of committing sexual violence?

There are programs designed to help guys understand and prevent sexual violence. For example, Man Up Against Violence in Regina taught students about healthy manhood. They discussed what it meant to be a man, to stand against violence, and to challenge wrong ideas about masculinity using plays and group discussions. Other programs, like Mobilising Men in Practice, work globally to start conversations and provide tools to men looking to end sexual violence.

These line up with what a lot of other programs are trying to do. Mainly, in conversations about healthy masculinity, there are 2 ways to change the status quo. One is to affirm the positive characteristics of masculinity. The other is to challenge and transform what masculinity means. Normalizing the healthy belief structures that traditional masculinity currently holds can be valuable. As is countering the universality of unhealthy versions of masculinity (including toxic masculinity). On the other hand, changing the concept of ‘masculine’ behaviours is more likely to happen when we challenge the idea of what it means to be masculine. Most men don’t embody the hypermasculine belief systems that cause people to sexually abuse others. Neither do most men commit sexual violence. However, there are many men who do.

Men’s role in preventing sexual violence

Being able to have conversations with your friends and family about what it means to be a man can be an incredible way to start shifting perceptions. You are a model of masculinity, and acting that way can influence those close to you. It can be freeing to reject rape culture and embrace your own qualities that go against traditional masculine beliefs. I have spoken with many of my fellow men who don’t believe in the traditional gender roles. They are also open to sharing their power and space equally with women. Once we can do this with ourselves, then we can start having the ability to affect change in the lives of those we love. Maybe soon we will stop talking about the crisis of men and boys and enter a healthier world for everyone. This is all men’s role in preventing sexual violence.

Why does Vesta care?

We at Vesta are invested in eradicating rape culture. We believe that this can only happen when people know what that is and their role in it continuing. Men play an important role in doing this, as allies, survivors, and perpetrators. Because, without men involved, all the blame will continue to fall onto women.

One of the traditional roles of men is taking responsibility, and I believe this can be a positive one in our lives. So, as a man, take responsibility for your place in re-creating harmful versions of being a man. Stand with women in their fight for equality. Help make this world a safer place for women and men alike. And lastly, don’t be afraid to shed a few tears for the people who have been hurt because of masculinity while you try to make society a better place. Once we are all able to do this, then neither the overwhelming feelings of guilt, nor their harmful counterparts, will be required.

If you know someone who lives in Ontario, Canada, has been assaulted and they are considering documenting or reporting their experience, connect them to the VESTA Community app, found here.

Rubiales: What if the world didn’t see?

Luis Rubiales resigned from his position as head of the Spanish soccer federation on September 10th, 2023. For those who followed Jennifer Hermoso in this ordeal, it’s hard to understand why it took so long. An unwanted kiss broadcast on the international stage. It seemed open and shut. This is assault. Yet, in the face of the Spanish soccer team refusing to work with him and FIFA suspending him, he seemed not to care about the people who denounced his actions. He even had supporters, as famous as Woody Allen, who downplayed his actions.

“It was just a kiss, and she was a friend. What’s wrong with that?”

Woody Allen

So, in a situation like this, where the blatant exploitation of a power imbalance is made worse by toxic masculinity, what would have happened if the world didn’t rally behind Ms. Hermoso? This question is one that many people face. Moreover, while norms have changed and masculinity isn’t the same as it was, the fact that Mr. Rubiales had an outcry of support shows that the toxicity hasn’t completely abated.

Jane Doe

Let’s look at an example of how this might play out in a less public setting. Jane Doe works at a university lab and has a male supervisor, John. John asks Jane to work late nights on an important research project coming up to the ethics board, and Jane obliges. Jane does her research thoroughly. So much so, that when her and John present it to the ethics board, the board agrees without mandating any changes. This is unheard of! What a great accomplishment.

As Jane and John walk out of the meeting and the door closes, John grabs Jane’s face and kisses her on the lips. Jane, stunned, doesn’t react. She didn’t want to be kissed, and felt violated right away, but didn’t think anyone would believe her. Jane doesn’t say anything in the days afterwards, rationalizing that it wasn’t a big deal. “It was just a kiss, and he was a friend, as well as her supervisor. What’s wrong with that?”

It was just a kiss, or was it?

But it wasn’t just a kiss. And there was something wrong with that. When Jane gets the courage to say something to her friends in the following weeks, they question why she didn’t say something earlier. They don’t know that freezing is a common response in those situations. Nor do they understand that women will sometimes resort to the placating behaviours that society has conditioned them into when facing a male abuser.

Jane feels stuck. She wants to share her experience, maybe warn others about John’s behaviour, but she doesn’t know how. How can she feel safe saying it in person considering the reaction from her friends. She has mixed feelings about what to do next? What can she do?

Reporting using VESTA

Reporting sexual assault or abuse can be difficult for anyone in any situation. When there isn’t footage of it happening, people might misunderstand natural reactions to a traumatic event. Trauma is different for everyone and the effects of trauma can be influenced by many different internal and external factors. Up to 80% of the people who have unwanted experiences in the workplace do not report them. What would this mean if it was at your university, with a student and a professor at a lab in your research department?

Reporting options

Having multiple avenues for reporting assaults is necessary. Most people assume that there is a way for survivors to report anonymously online, but, until recently, there wasn’t. VESTA has two online options for people to chose from.

The first, online tool, called VESTA Anonymous Reporting, offers survivors the chance to report assaults and abuse anonymously. It comes from a trauma informed perspective and brings anonymous reports directly to your university’s sexual violence prevention services. However, If the survivor wants to report with their identity, there’s an option for that too. It’s called VESTA Online Reporting. It can connect survivors directly with support services on or off campus. Both these tools, or the full VESTA Campus suite, can also support survivors with reporting the incident to police.

In the case of Jane, she would have several options available to her. She would be able to file an anonymous report, allowing the University Sexual Violence Prevention Office to track trends and statistics. Maybe Jane wasn’t the only person John abused. Afterwards, if Jane wanted, she could follow up with the information she wrote in the reporting tool and submit it to the police.  VESTA would help her document a credible and reliable account of her experience, and our founder has written about the difference that can make in our current justice system. Imagine the difference having these options could make for Jane.  

Protecting survivors

While the cases above reference a male abuser and a female survivor, all genders are at risk of sexual abuse. Moreover, giving survivors a tool to report their experiences that doesn’t re-traumatize them shifts the power imbalance. What’s more, giving the students, of any gender, in your university the chance to disclose and report in ways that suit their needs is giving power to survivors. And, if as in the case of Rubiales, the perpetrator denies doing anything wrong, then that raises big red flags for other behaviours. As the New York Times has previously reported, “experts note one last trait shared by men who have raped: they do not believe they are the problem.”

Written by: Ilyas

Understanding and healing your inner self

In our busy daily lives, it’s easy to neglect ourselves. We often prioritize our physical well-being, career goals, and external appearances, but what about our emotional and psychological health? Understanding and healing your inner self is a journey that leads to self-discovery, personal growth, and overall well-being. Just as we tend to physical wounds, our emotional wounds also deserve attention and care.

Understanding Inner Self Healing

Acknowledge Your Emotions

The first step towards healing your inner self is acknowledging your emotions. Give yourself permission to feel without judgment and understand that your emotions are valid and serve as signals from within. Check out our blog post 5 Exercises for Checking-in and Slowing Down for some tips to get in touch with yourself and your healing journey.

Open Past Wounds

Reflect on your past experiences and relationships that may have caused emotional wounds. It’s essential to identify these triggers to understand their impact on your present emotions and behaviours.

Practice Self-love

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a dear friend. Self-love involves being gentle with yourself, especially during times of emotional distress. Check out our self care healing room for some ideas to get you started.

Embrace Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice can help you gain clarity about your emotions and promote a sense of calm.

Steps to Begin Your Inner Self Healing Journey

  1. Start Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and emotions can be incredibly therapeutic. It allows you to process your feelings, track your progress, and identify patterns that need addressing. There are many different ways to journal, and it’s all about finding the one that works best for you. Read Journaling to learn more.
  2. Seek Professional Help: If past traumas or deep-seated emotional wounds are hindering your progress, consider seeking therapy or counseling. A trained professional can guide you through the healing process. Psychology today is a good place to start when looking for a professional to speak to.
  3. Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This could be anything from reading, painting, meditating, or spending time in nature. Taking care of your physical body also contributes to your emotional well-being.
  4. Let Go of Resentment: Holding onto grudges and resentment can be detrimental to your inner self healing journey. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning hurtful actions, but rather freeing yourself from the burden of negativity.
  5. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Negative influences can hinder your progress, so choose relationships that encourage your growth.

Benefits of Inner Self Healing

Understanding and healing your inner self is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to confront past wounds. By acknowledging your emotions, practicing self-care, and seeking professional guidance when needed, you can embark on a path of self-discovery and healing. Remember, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for all other relationships in your life.

Unmasking the Realities of Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships are like quicksand, easy to fall into, but challenging to escape. They come in many different forms, such as romantic relationships, friendships, family bonds or even professional connections. We will dive into the damaging effects, recognizing the signs and red flags to watch out for, and the importance of setting boundaries and seeking support. Keep reading to unmask the realities of toxic relationships.

Recognizing the Signs

One of the most daunting aspects of toxic relationships is that they can be subtle at first. The beginning of a relationship  might appear normal, even promising, but over time, the toxic relationship reveals its  insidious nature. Common signs of a toxic relationship include:

Check our our blog post for more signs of a sexually abusive relationship

The Cycle of Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships often follow a cyclical pattern, making it even more challenging for the victim to break free. The cycle usually involves four phases:

  1. Tension Building: Tension gradually mounts in the relationship, leading to increased arguments and discomfort. 
  2. Explosive Incident: The tension reaches a boiling point, resulting in an intense and often explosive incident, such as verbal or physical abuse.
  3. Reconciliation: Following the explosion, the toxic partner may apologize and offer temporary affection, pulling the victim back into the relationship.
  4. Calm and Honeymoon Phase: The tension dissipates, leading to a period of relative calm and affection, creating hope that things might change.

Unfortunately, this cycle tends to repeat itself over and over again, until it is broken by one person leaving.

Breaking Free and Seeking Support

Escaping a toxic relationship is a daunting journey, but essential for one’s emotional and mental well-being. Acknowledging the toxicity is the first step towards liberation. Here are some crucial actions to take:

  1. Establish Boundaries: Identify and set clear boundaries to protect yourself from further harm. Communicate these boundaries assertively.
  2. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or professional counselors who can provide a safe space for you to share your feelings and experiences.
  3. Self-Care and Healing: Engage in self-care activities and consider seeking therapy to process your emotions and work through any trauma.
  4. Letting Go and Moving On: It’s crucial to cut ties with the toxic individual completely and focus on building a healthier and more fulfilling life.

Toxic relationships can consume us, slowly eroding our self-worth and happiness. Recognizing the signs, understanding the cyclical nature of toxicity, and taking action to break free are vital steps towards healing and growth. Remember, you deserve love, respect, and happiness, and breaking free from toxic relationships will allow you to reclaim your life and rediscover your true self.

If you ever need any resources to contact for help if you are experiencing a toxic relationship, please follow the following links:

Vesta’s Survival Guide for O-Week

Congratulations on embarking on an exciting new chapter of your life! Orientation Week is an incredible opportunity to kickstart your Post-Secondary journey. However, this action-packed week can also be overwhelming. Fear not, Vesta’s survival guide for O-Week has tips and tricks to help you make the most of it. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll equip you with valuable tips and advice to ensure a smooth transition into life on campus. Get ready to navigate through the festivities, stay organized, pack essentials, seize freebies, get involved, seek support, and prioritize self-care. Let’s make this Orientation Week an unforgettable experience! Keep reading to learn how to survive O-Week!

Plan Ahead

Before the festivities kick off, take some time to research and familiarize yourself with the schedule, venues, and activities planned for Orientation Week. Create a personalized timetable to keep track of events, workshops, and campus tours you’d like to attend. Having a clear plan will help you stay organized and avoid missing out on any key activities. Please allow yourself “ME” time as well. Orientation week can get a little time consuming, so allow yourself to have time for yourself to recuperate. Check out our blog post for some strategies for checking in with yourself and slowing down.

Pack Essentials

To ensure you’re well-prepared, pack a bag with essentials such as a refillable water bottle, snacks, comfortable walking shoes, a campus map, a notebook, pens, and any other items that might come in handy during the week. Don’t forget to check the weather forecast and pack appropriate clothing for all types of conditions. Head over to the following website to find out a sample list of what to bring to University/College

Get Your Freebies!

Make sure to take advantage of all the freebies! There will be a frosh kit given out that usually includes a water bottle, shirt and other school supplies. Special discounts and promotions will be offered on campus to make the transition easier. Check out the campus store to see any special deals for school merchandise and textbooks.

Get Involved

Orientation Week is all about getting involved and immersing yourself in the vibrant campus community. Participate in icebreaker activities, join interest-based clubs or organizations, and attend social events. It’s a fantastic way to meet new people, build connections, and find your niche on campus. Remember, everyone is in the same boat, so don’t be afraid to strike up conversations and introduce yourself. Making friends early on will allow the transition to the university lifestyle much better!

Seek Support

Starting at University can be overwhelming, and it’s okay to feel a bit lost at times. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support, we are here for you. Take advantage of the resources available to you, such as orientation leaders, campus staff, and student services. Vesta has resources for any help you might need, head over to our website to check them out. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you ever need to take a mental break, head over to our mental health resources on our website.

Stay Positive and Have Fun

Orientation Week is a unique opportunity to create lasting memories and embrace the beginning of your University life. Stay positive, approach each activity with enthusiasm, and be open to new experiences. After all, this is your chance to make lifelong friends and lay the foundation for an amazing University experience.

Stay Safe!

Unfortunately, the culture surrounding Orientation Week at university can sometimes lead to unsafe situations. It is disheartening to acknowledge that O-Week can foster an environment where toxic masculinity thrives. This is evident in the unhealthy competition among men to outdo each other in terms of their number of sexual partners, as well as the pressure to consume excessive amounts of alcohol.

While it is important to emphasize that victims of sexual violence are never at fault, it is still valuable to provide some general tips for ensuring safety during O-Week.

You’ve got this! Vesta’s survival guide for O-Week can help you make the most of Orientation Week. And if you need a little extra support, header over to our website for some helpful resources.

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